To help make your characters seem more real you should have some reference to their family background. After all nobody comes from nowhere and while the family doesn’t have to appear in your short story or novel or whatever, it would be odd if your character doesn’t refer to them in some way, no matter how briefly. After all what you make the character says here can show a great deal of how they interact (or not) with their family and the reader can speculate as to how they’re likely to get on with people in general and whether they’re likeable or not. Also if the character gets on well with the family, do they do this to the exclusion of getting on with anybody else? Do they look down on others?
Eileen and Jenny
I like Eileen seeing the good side of humanity when the Kingdom despises us for greed, pollution and warmongering and assumes there isn’t good left. Jenny shows the struggle of being a half being - not belonging to either world and experiencing the clash between cultures. She sees the disadvantages to both worlds and is torn between them. Jenny resents her mother for dropping her in it. Eileen put out by Jenny’s attitude. She had not foreseen Jenny being so hostile, mainly on the grounds Jenny does owe her existence to her. Eileen and Jenny end up fighting for their right to stay on earth and hate the Queen for trying to force them back.
Telling a Lot about Characters in a Few Words
I’ve always loved reading lines in other books where you can tell a lot about a character in that short section. The first one I felt I did well was where in The Trouble With Mother Hanastrew complains about being made by Eileen to use the instant transport spell with its inherent risks of not having all your bits rematerialize properly with one girl recently losing an arm through the method. Eileen’s retort if the girl had lost her head, she would’ve understood the complaints I was pleased with the moment I wrote it. To get sympathy from this woman, you have to die! Tells you all you need to know, yes?
What I Like in My Characters
I like to know my characters’ main trait before I start writing. In Eileen’s case it is awkwardness taken to the nth degree. She lands others and herself right in it. Plenty of stories there I hope!
I also like to know what my major characters want and to ensure there are plenty of clashes. No clash = no story.
I also like to give my main villain a really powerful motive for their actions. Anything less is unconvincing. And it has to be a motive anyone can identify with - a kind of I can understand where this character is coming from approach.