Alien Worlds and Co-operation
Alien worlds, including Earth, learning to get along with one another.  For there to be a genuine exchange of friendship, culture, books, music with no looking down on one another.    Equally those who support sports teams to do so in an honourable way and to welcome others who join in.    For all alien worlds, including Earth, to give the Fairy Kingdom proper respect and not to seek to destroy ir or exploit it.  (Earth - once a colonial planet, always a colonial planet as far as the Kingdom's concerned).

Space
A deeper appreciation of the beauty of space - in space itself and on home planets.  With space comes quiet and reflection.  It is the Kingdom’s view that there would be fewer wars if people took time out to spend in quiet reflection.  Also a deeper appreciation that nobody has the right to wreck the world they live on and that all should take as much care of their world as they can.  The Queen and her Council do not believe it is just down to them though they accept they must lead by example.

Sharing of Resources
Better sharing of resources.  Better appreciation of the resources each and every world has.  Less waste of the resources each and every world has (people of Earth take note).  A better sense we all owe it to our own worlds and to God to take care of our environments. 

Banning Space Travel...
A ban on all humans ever leaving Planet Earth as the Kingdom does not approve of space travel.  Its only use from the realm’s viewpoint is that in discovering a new planet, it puts off the awful day when humanity finds there is such a thing as a magical realm.

Visiting Other Worlds
Those allowed to visit other worlds to bring back samples of other sources of magic they come across (ideally by taking a sample so the host planet doesn’t miss it but if it is necessary to steal then do so, it is for the Kingdom’s greater good).  Long term the Kingdom would like to be the source of all good magic.

The Proper Treatment of Books
Books treated with the utmost respect.  The Queen and her Council do not approve of the closure of libraries.  They see this policy as literary vandalism.  The Queen loves all forms of stationery too and enjoys using vellum to produce some exquisite works of calligraphy, the way all books used to be.  She would make reading compulsory and thoroughly approves of schemes to make reading fun for the more reluctant reader.

The Proper Appreciation of Pictures
Pictures appreciated for what they are and for their beauty rather than their monetary value.  For all to see the importance of art in terms of creativity and therapy.  For modern art to recognize it owes its very existence to the art that  has gone before (you need something to kick against). 

Good Magical Species
All magical species using their powers for nothing but good (and to prove to the evil minded this does not have to be “wet”.  After all Eileen is certainly not wet and she uses her powers to accurately defend the Kingdom.  Her skills are awesome).  The Queen and her Council would welcome almost any reassurance the realm is safe from attack - from internal or external forces.

Alien Worlds
Alien worlds giving up on the idea that the Fairy Kingdom would be a good place to steal powers from.  It always ends in tears - theirs.  The Kingdom, while at peace at the time of Eileen’s story, is still twitchy.  They know they’re about due for another invasion attempt and would like one day to forget about this threat once and for all because there really is no more threat. 

Fairy Tales
Fairy tales being compulsory reading in schools in all known universes, dimensions and amongst all species.  While the Kingdom can see a point for Walt Disney “tidying up” certain of the more violent fairy tales for the younger end of the reading market, those of a suitable age should read the proper texts.  Fairy tales are anything but twee and only the texts show this.

Art
More wonderful artworks, including photography, especially of the fantastic array of flora, fauna and scenery that is to be found in the universes.  By appreciating art, you can appreciate life and see what matters.  It also keeps humans out of trouble for a bit, which is always a good cause.

Making Humans Focus on Anything Positive
Humans focusing on arts, comedy, caring for wildlife, basically almost anything that takes our minds away from space exploration.  The big dread is humanity will discover there are different dimensions and there are ways to cross them.  The Queen has a stock of “things for humans to discover” if she feels we need it.

Magic on Earth
Magic shows banned, especially the ones shown on Earth.  The Queen and her Council considers this brings the proper use of magic, for healing ane helping, into disrepute.  Nor do they understand why anything has to come out of a top hat, yet alone the unfortunate white rabbit.  These shows are tacky and don’t give a true picture of magic, how it is practiced and its benefits.

Wildlife Watching
Wildlife watching appreciated properly and those abusing the environment “dealt with appropriately”.  What that means depends on who you speak to - Eileen would be content to shove someone in the stocks to be pelted with mud regularly while Fresdian would shove the offender upside down in a barrel of tar and if they refused to apologize to leave them in it to drown.  There are no half measures with Fresdian.

Treatment of the Natural World
Better treatment of the natural world and this is not just another dig at humanity.  There are many worlds that treat their flora and fauna abysmally.  The late Fresdian/Rose had much to say on this subject and the Kingdom didn’t take that much notice.  Learning from experience, those trying to take care of the natural world should be treated with more respect as well. Better treatment of the natural world and this is not just another dig at humanity.  There are many worlds that treat their flora and fauna abysmally.  The late Fresdian/Rose had much to say on this subject and the Kingdom didn’t take that much notice.  Learning from experience, those trying to take care of the natural world should be treated with more respect as well.

Magical Practitioners
Magical practitioners treated with better respect.  In fairness, it also wants to see magical practitioners acting in such a way they deserve respect.  So that rules out cursing entire worlds and using magic as an offensive weapon.  It also rules out trying to destroy anyone with powers the non-magical doesn’t have (as it will mean the non-magical will have to do something really nasty to compensate).

Dedication
Dedication to duty no matter what role someone is in.

System of Government
No republics!  And more promotion of Spenser’s The Faerie Queen as Roxannadrell likes this and assumes it applies to her.  This is despite L’Evallier pointing out there was no way Spenser could know of the existence of the magical realm and that on Earth at the time Queen Elizabeth Tudor was the more obvious inspiration.

Misrepresenting Fairy Kind
For all known worlds to stop assuming fairies are twee and sweet.  Many fairies are very efficient killers in fact.

Dumbing Down
Unless writing for the very young, fairy tales should not be dumbed down.  And the original tales should be introduced to children when they are at a suitable age.  Yes a lot of tales are gruesome but there are life lessons in them.  The Kingdom takes its collective hats off to the Shrek series on Earth, a welcome addition to the fairy tale canon.

Fairytale Writers
Writers of fairytales to be encouraged (as long as they respect the genre and their work makes that clear).

Clarity
Spells and charms to be written clearly.  The Queen is on a long term campaign to get rid of poorly written calligraphy scripts given the dreadful rise in magical accidents due to misreading the charms.

Magical Creatures
Magical creatures to be treated with respect if they’re harmless.  Those that aren’t the Queen and her Council considers fair game, especially dragons.  If they don’t want to be an endangered species, they won’t endanger others!

Fair play
In magical and non-magical worlds - given it cannot be taken for granted.

Witch Behaviour
Witches to stick to being wise women instead of cursing people and trying to snatch power.  The Queen admits she is prejudiced here but being overthrown, albeit just the once, tends to being out the paranoid side.

Elf Behaviour
Elves to learn to be less snobbish.  Life, even a magical life, really is too short for that kind of nonsense.

Harmony
Harmony throughout all known universes.  It’s more than time there was some. Harmony throughout the Fairy Kingdom itself for the same reason .

War
No more war anywhere.  No more destruction of peoples or land.

Respecting Magic
Magic properly respected and used, not abused.

More harp playing (it gets you ready for heaven too).

Better treatment of inferior creatures.

Magic to be acknowledged as a major force of the universes.  For it not to be treated with contempt or to be abused.

Evil witches and wizards to take themselves off to some remote planet somewhere and fight amongst themselves, leaving everyone else to live in peace here.

Humans to get rid of their extremists on any side and put them on a remote island to fight amongst themselves.

Evil magic and associated items to be dumped in the nearest most convenient volcano.

Magical beings reaching their full potential (though obviously this does not apply to those of an evil disposition or sprites given they’ve reached their full potential for trouble already).

More humility on the part of humanity - admitting you’ve mucked up your planet would be a welcome start.

Other worlds stopping trying to attack the fairy realm in an attempt to grab our world’s powers, the ones that affect our entire atmosphere.

Peaceful space exploration which doesn’t leave any kind of litter cluttering up the heavens.

Peaceful ocean exploration which doesn’t leave any kind of litter cluttering up the seas.

Humans learning not to clutter up places they want to explore.

Magical beings treated with the proper respect.

Witches and wizards to stop going over to the dark side.  The Queen and her Council are morally and legally obliged to stop this.  They do have better things they could do with their time.

All children to read fairytales.  How many know the stories now?  (Walt Disney has its uses though from the realm’s point of view nothing can beat going back to the original stories).

More appreciation for stories in general (and for writers to be valued and those that try to claim they’d write if only they had the time to have the courage to go and find that time and see if they really could do it.   Hypocrisy does not go down well in the magical realm).

More awareness that art has a value that goes far beyond any monetary reward,  its use in therapy being more widely recognized.

Humans to stop polluting their planet, fighting and generally being beastly.

Other magical worlds to stop trying to rob the Fairy Kingdom of its inherent magical powers.

More beings believing in fairytales (in particular the morality behind most of them).

More people reading especially fairytales.

Less cynicism about the possibility of other worlds and a willingness to accept that other life, some of it more intelligent than humans, is out there.

A determination not to colonize any other worlds found.

Magic used responsibly by all magical groups and for sprites to stop fighting.

No more over ambitious wizards.  No good ever comes of it.

No more witches pretending to be old apple sellers.  It lacks dignity.

No more greedy kids thinking it’s all right to eat an old woman’s house just because it’s made out of gingerbread.

No more gingerbread houses.  It only causes trouble.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen..

Education
Generally considered a good thing when it is done “properly” and by the “prescribed manner”.  Eileen is the only one who can see the dangers of this and has loudly pointed out this attitude is going to stop magical students developing the ability to think for themselves.  Eileen thinks it beggars believe for the government not to find a way of helping students learn by experimenting and preventing the worst accidents only, the ones that tend to be horribly fatal.  Had Eileen stayed in the Kingdom, she’d have cleaned up the examination boards and carried out a good deal of teaching.  Jenny may not like her mother’s tale but is pleased she saved some poor unfortunate souls in the magical world being lectured at by her mother!

Fate
This is one of the few areas where there is consensus between most humans and most magical beings in that there are those who fervently believe in Fate, those who are sceptical about it and those who think you make your own.  The Queen and Eileen take a robust view especially given what happened to the Queen’s late mother as that was a result of out and out villainy and even the monarch thinks it unfair to blame Fate for that.  Both royals think “fate” of that nature could and should be avoided.  It’s wickedness to blame and both like to name it for what it is.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Heaven
The Kingdom as a whole acknowledges the existence of God and the good magical creatures are allowed to go to heaven where they join the lower angelic ranks.  They do not go to heaven the same way humans do (both in the manner of death, sadly most magical deaths are due to foul fiends and accidents or curse and also in terms of more specific belief.  It is considered the good magical creatures worship God by getting on with work that will assist Him or his angels in some way.  The politics in the Kingdom are left to the realm to sort out though honourable behavour is expected.  Naturally Queen and Eileen both think the other are not behaving well).

Clothing
The Kingdom does not approve of any style of human clothing, partly due to Eileen’s insistence on wearing practical separates at all times and especially when flying. Eileen is seen as letting her people down and that humanity’s corrupting influence led to her doing this.  Quietly, the Queen has had copied some beautiful gowns she’s seen on Earth or has created some magically which look similar to that worn here but she doesn’t draw attention to this.  Generally it is felt skirts are too short, nobody can understand those who wear their trousers so their underwear shows (in the realm if you want to show your knickers, you just get on and do so and it’s usually done by sprites when either drunk or fighting other sprites as revealing underwear is considered an insult) and underwear, even the sexier type, should be designed for comfort too.  You won’t find a thong in the Fairy Kingdom!!

History
The story of the realm’s life the government feels should be told.  Mind, that doesn’t just apply to the Fairy Kingdom.  Eileen has a huge respect for history.  Records are important.  The Queen agrees to an extent but insists that “proper” records are kept with only “true” information.  Eileen often queried what the Queen meant by those terms. These queries were not welcome.

Geography
Logically this is the study of land and climate and these should in the case of land be fixed and in the case of climate follow a pattern.  In the Kingdom, land is occasionally known to move (usually because some dodgy magical character has done this to show off) and climate can be altered by spells. On Earth only dramatic events like tsunamis, earthquakes and volcanoes cause land shifts/slides and the climate is being altered by our behaviour.  Naturally the Kingdom looks down on humanity for this.  If we’d altered the climate due to improving our magical abilities, they’d have not had a problem with it.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Graciousness
Something Eileen knows she lacks and her cousin does have.  Though Eileen also believes the Queen uses this asset too much to get her own way.  There is more than a hint of jealousy here.  Eileen has, again in an act of rebellion, decided to base her main traits on what you see is what you get.  She has a lot of sympathy with Cromwell’s idea of a warts and all portrait.

Art
Any form of creativity that brightens the world, whatever world you’re on.  The realm recognizes those art forms that focus on the more negative aspects of life.  The realm’s view here is that those art forms bring the positive into focus.  The realm can see the point of The Scream but see the point of The Haywain much more.

Fiction
Something incomprehensible to most magical beings here.  They prefer dealing in facts.  Their fairy stories are accurate records.  They don’t understand why humans want to make things up for fun.  There is a significant part of the Kingdom population who see this as deceitful.

Computers
The Kingdom is wary of these too.  PCs make it too easy to pry into others’ lives and Eileen feels humans pour their affection into their machines rather than their fellow humans.  The Kingdom is usually wary of any human invention until they realise it could be useful and they adapt it as their own.  The realm sees this as creative copying!

Music
A wonderful thing regardless of world or species.  One of the few things the Queen, Eileen, Jenny and even the Witch agree on though Eileen and Jenny’s musical tastes do differ.  Jenny made sure of that.  She doesn’t want too many comparisons to her mother.

Photography
Eileen admires this as an art form and Jenny happily snaps away with her digital camera, having a real love for the Scottish landscape when she, Paul and Eddie holiday there. Eileen does visit photography exhibitions every now and then.  The Fairy Queen does not approve.  She finds it hard to believe humans have come up with a wonderful invention like this all by themselves and believes there is magic behind it somewhere. 

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Hard work
Eileen still believes she’s the only one who manages hard work in a way that is beneficial to her, helps her practice her magical skills, and rescues the innocent.  For her hard work is memorising skills, practising her skills and so on but Jenny doesn’t agree.  For her hard work is being up all night with a screaming baby. 

Jewellery
The Fairy Queen believes jewellery must have either gold or diamonds in it somewhere to be “proper”.  Gold has to be of the purest carat, diamonds to be huge and to catch and reflect the light beautifully. Eileen loves jewellery too though her items are more modest, certainly not in respect of her cousin, but because Eileen has a grave distrust of anything looking flash.  Flash = spiv in her books.

Sport
Jenny loathes all sport bar tennis and swimming.  Eileen, while she doesn’t watch or take part, feels sport is a good thing as it keeps humanity out of mischief.  Well she did hold that view until she discovered what football hooligans were. Jenny had to stop her mother turning them all into toads.  Humanity may never know how wrong Jenny was here! There are some sports played and watched in the magical world but not with the enthusiasm shown by humans.

Heaven
Jenny is a Christian (her mother’s tale gives her real dilemmas here too.  What is Jenny supposed to do with her unexpected powers? It's hardly something she can share with the vicar) so believes in the Christian view of paradise.  Eileen is broadly sympathetic (though wonders whether it’s different for awkward fairy godmothers.  She takes some solace from the thought God looks on the heart - even when fighting dragons Eileen has, in her way, always meant well).  Eileen hopes to go to heaven eventually but is in no hurry to depart this life.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Garage
A place to park your car, gardening equipment and so on according to Eileen.  She doesn’t understand the reference to “music”, nor does she comprehend why folk are addicted to the dodgy music.  She likes people to say what they mean. The one form of wordplay she will tolerate is limericks.

Rap
The best thing I can here is that Eileen fully agrees with the late Humphrey Littleton’s thoughts on this topic.  “It starts with a capital C.” Knows humans can do much better than this kind of “tune”.

Rationality
Eileen treats this like fire - a good idea in principle but you wouldn’t want it dominating your life.  She also sees there is more than one way to look at something - the rational way and the creative way.  Naturally Eileen sees her way as the correct one.  Hypocrisy happens to other people in her view.

Climate Change
Eileen does believe in this for the good reason in her old world various areas were made barren thanks to too much magical fighting, leading to the land being physically changed and not for the better.  Eileen also feels give the harm man does to each other, there had to be an effect on the planet itself in the long run.

Literature
Any stories that don’t involve fairies as far as Jenny’s concerned.  Her views on fairytales have changed drastically since her mother’s unforeseen (literally!) revelation.  Eileen reads fairytales warily too but that’s only because she spots all the errors.

Compassion
A wonderful quality in very scarce supplies though in fairness Eileen thinks this is just as true of the Kingdom as it is of Earth.  Certainly Jenny feels her own supply has plummeted since her mother dropped her in it.  Especially towards Eileen funnily enough.

Regality
A quality Eileen recognizes in our Queen.  A quality Eileen thinks the Fairy Queen lacks, the latter being far too ruthless at times for her cousin’s liking.  Mind this is partially due to the fact Eileen knows the Fairy Queen is one of the few that could and has brought Eileen herself into line.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

The Lore
Fairy Kingdom stories, myths (they’re not considered the same) and the whole basis of the legal system.  If it’s happened in fiction, it can happen in daily life in the magical world.  Eileen treats the Lore warily as she knows many instances of when it’s been abused.  She thinks it desperately needs reform.

Parliament
Also known as the Ultimate Talking Shop.  Eileen sees this as a comment rather than a criticism given the Queen’s Council are no better.  L’Evallier has been known to be very longwinded when he has felt the need to be.

Freedom
For Eileen this means freedom to do what she likes.  And even when the Queen tries to stop her, Eileen exercises her freedom to circumvent that.  Eileen is deeply suspicious of those in government.  She wants to see evidence they are working beyond their own interests.  This attitude does not go down well with the Queen.  If Eileen wasn’t royal, there’s a good chance she’d be in a cell for a while.

Fairness
Eileen automatically assumes this is one of her main virtues.  In fairness (!), she does recognize it in others, occasionally even in the Queen, more commonly in the Witch (the Queen senses this and is incensed at this but Eileen’s far too useful to her to remove or jail).  Eileen, however, is no fan of fair criticism especially when coming from her daughter.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Surgery
In the fairy world surgery is when a major spell is cast and involves a powerful magic wand.  On Earth of course it’s a medical procedure.  FNN have reported on this and shown pictures.  Almost everyone in the fairy world was disgusted.  They didn’t pick up on the fact the surgery was designed to save lives.  All they saw was the gore, the blood and the indignity of the hospital gowns...

Alternative Medicine
The fairy world considers these as interesting ideas though even they despite Feng Shui.  Aromatherapy is one of the Queen’s favourite hobbies.  Eileen has often accused her of wanting to smell like a garden (roses usually as opposed to the material they put on them to make them grow!).  The Kingdom is not surprised most humans are cynical.  That’s been a fact of life for millennia.

Conservation
The Kingdom is amazed any of this takes place on Earth. It doesn’t help them sustain their prejudice that every human is a warmonger and polluter.  But things like the RSPB, RSPCA, WWF, the Forestry Commission and so on do challenge that view.  The realm has a special fondness for anyone taking care of trees properly (including tree surgeons, yes the Kingdom has its own) given so many of them form part of the transport system in the magical world.

Wildlife Programmes
Many in the Kingdom tune in via crystal ball to watch our wildlife programmes as practically everyone in the realm appreciates the need to care for the natural world.  Even the evil witches and wizards do knowing full well they’ve got to get the ingredients for their curses from somewhere and that somewhere must be sustainable.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Witches
Also Known As Nothing But Trouble.  Well there is a whole wealth of material on which the Fairy Kingdom can justify that statement.

Fairies
Also Known As The Good Guys.  Similar sentiments apply as for witches though they insist these definitions should be the other way round.

Wizards
Also Known As Those Who Shouldn’t Be Trusted though that definition came into regular use after Brankaresh’s defection and execution.

Dwarves
Also Known As the Grubbiest Species in the Kingdom given their passion for mining.  It is never said in a dwarf’s presence however.  People like living.

Stories
Source of all knowledge as far as the Kingdom is concerned.  They salute the Brothers Grimm and Andersen.  To tamper with a story is a criminal offence in this world.  Writers in the realm come from all backgrounds though every story sent in written by a sprite is checked carefully.

Radio
In the Kingdom they developed “fairy-vision” first then radio.  Radio at the start of The Trouble With Mother is in its infancy and Roherum despises it, not seeing the attraction of an art form with no pictures. Luckily the Queen can see its usage so it’s not going to be damaged by Roherum’s rude remarks about it.  No radio stars have yet energed.

Time
Something that everybody wastes, regardless of what world you’re on.  Time on Earth goes faster than in the magical realm.  The magical species live roughly five times as long as we do bar illness or magical accident (the latter usually dragon induced).

Hustling
What everybody in the Fairy Kingdom believes humans do all the time.  It goes on in their realm too, the sprites are especially guilty of this, but this is not commented on as much as human dodgy dealings.  It’s much more fun to criticize others.

Plumbing
In the Kingdom this is considered a magical art form in itself. They don’t have plumbers that charge outrageously (anybody doing that would be transformed into something unpleasant and there is some pity humans cannot do this to those who con them).

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Eileen
Troublemaker unable to appreciate which side her wand is buttered.

Humans
Warmongering, polluting pests.  Nobody in the Kingdom can understand why Eileen fell in love with one.

Sprites
Mischievous and prone to fighting, every other species in the magical realm loathes them.  The sprites, however, can be useful with their baking and cleaning skills which is why they’re just about tolerated.  Stan and Wes are the most famous sprites.

Power abuses
Something human politicians are all guilty of as naturally the Queen cannot bring herself to admit her ancestors, her Council and she herself have been guilty of this.  It’s much easier to say a primitive planet that doesn’t know better carries out this kind of thing.  In the Queen’s own eyes, she is being pragmatic and putting the Kingdom first.  Sadly, this is not always true.

Journalism
Nosey parkers unless they’re reporting on the Queen favourably in which case they’re doing their job properly. 

Hypocrisy
Something that happens to others as far as the Queen’s concerned.  It is one of the few atttudes she and Eileen share.  Both prefer not to think about that too much. 

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Nationalism
Doesn’t exist as such in the Kingdom but each species is expected to be loyal to their own type with loyalty to the Queen overruling everything.  There is some regional rivalries in the differing 7 regions where the borders meet but the Queen and Council organize sporting events on the quarter days where any aggressive feelings between regions can be literally played out on the field and nobody thinks any the worse of it. Everybody is expected to do whatever they can to come to the Kingdom’s aid should it be attacked by external forces.  So to desert your own kind and the magical world as a whole is bound to be seen as treason by everybody in the Kingdom.  Eileen would have been very aware of this.  Not that it mattered.  She still didn’t care.

Sportsmanship
One of the highest ideals for any species to aspire to, the Kingdom is in awe of genuine sportsmanship where sport is not wrecked by greed, drug taking, any form of cheating and fair play is ensured.  The Kingdom admires Earth’s Olympic Games (they know full well some athletes cheat but the majority do not and it is the intention behind the games the magical world particularly likes).  The Kingdom was in awe of Bradley Wiggins, not just for his amazing achievements on a bike, but for stopping in the Tour de France so he didn’t get the benefit as his rivals ran into tacks thrown on to the route by vandals.  The realm thinks humans need to show that kind of spirit more often (though if it didn’t draw attention to the Kingdom’s existence, the Queen and Eileen would happily curse the tack throwing morons and turn them into something nasty like a hump the Tour de France cyclists have to ride over!).

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Government
What the Queen says goes is her view of government though Eileen and the Council disagree.  They see their roles as helping the Queen to make sensible decisions.  The Queen sees their roles as helping her to decide what she says goes.  There is some democracy in the magical realm.  Council representatives are voted in by the highest ranking members of their species but there’s no canvassing as we know it.  The only opposition is when the Kingdom is at war.

Canvassing
The Queen will sometimes seek opinions from Eileen, Council and even her own staff to try to get a feel for what the Kingdom at large is likely to feel about any given incident.  The Queen makes it seem as if she’s doing everyone a favour doing this. It doesn’t help make her any more popular with those in the know.

Agriculture
This is not known as such in the realm though everyone has their own garden and grows vegetables, fruits and flowers.  Meat is imported from other planets like Earth (as very few relish having to kill animals themselves and those species, like orcs, who wouldn’t have any qualms, because they are trying to fit in rein in their more “beastly” instincts and simply eat their imported meat cooked very rare indeed).  The Kingdom has studied agriculture on Earth and greatly admires the efforts of most farmers.  The realm does grow or import its own food.  Nobody eats magically created food unless they must.  It is felt that fairy dust does something to the flavour.  Nothing can beat fresh food.  This is one of the few areas where Eileen is in total agreement with the official government position.

Efficiency
The Queen sees this as the speed in which someone obeys her commands.  Eileen sees this as her speed in dispatching the latest foul fiend.  The Council see it as ensuring all the paperwork they have to do is done as quickly as possible and put back on the Queen’s desk for her to go through.  The aim in life here is to have a clear desk as often as possible! 

Good Breeding
Practically everyone in the Kingdom thinks this is vital, even the sprites.  No group approves of cross-breeding.  The aim of each individual is to be the best they can be within their own species.  Yes, there is a league table kept by the heads of each species group.  It is possible to move up and down these tables depending on marriages made.  For example a sprite making good would be one who say saved the life of a higher ranked sprite and ended up marrying them.  In reverse, a sprite highly ranked will lose some of that ranking if they wed someone deemed unsuitable.  Naturally Eileen hates all of this.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Manifestations
These are treated with caution in the magical world.  “Quacks” are known here too.  Prophecies are expected to be rooted in reality and to be specific in detail (not necessarily in giving names but enough information to prove it isn’t being made up) and records are kept of when prophecies were fulfilled. Those claiming to see visions are interrogated by the Council.  To date no manifestation has proven to be genuine and FNN regularly debunk the notion.  To date “mistaken” old women are sent back home and told not to bother anyone again.  There has been an increase in witch numbers.  Eileen has been one of the few to wonder if there was a link.  She knows she wouldn’t want her judgement questioned.  If she had a manifestion, she’d expect people to believe her.  It is perhaps as well she has not had one.  The Kingdom would never hear the last of it.

Lawlessness
Almost anything that the Fairy Queen is against (though in fairness she does try to make sure most of her Council agree with her on most things she categorizes as lawless).  She is keen to uphold law and order, being only too well aware of what happened to the realm’s last careless ruler, Gwendolyn.

Commercial
The Queen tries not to speak this word, almost considering it a swear word.  For one thing she has seen what humans do using commercial need as an excuse.  Secondly she really does not understand the need to make money, given she has always had plenty of her own.  Eileen is more sympathetic to the commercial world and had hoped her books might have been more accessible to the Kingdom.  However, to achieve that, she would have had to have been a lot less controversial.  Eileen would never do that.

Greed
Something humans are chiefly guilty of (the more compassionate in the Kingdom blame our inadequacies - if we were magical we wouldn’t feel the need to covet) though the realm has seen its fair share of those lusting for power.  Brankaresh was by no means unique here.  And certainly sprites often fight each other for some trinket they envy while the rest of the Kingdom looks on, exasperated.

Environmental Credentials
The realm generally ignores the environment - it is just there and will always remain so.  This infuriates the likes of Rose (Fresdian) who wants everyone doing their bit to keep the atmosphere and Nature herself happy.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Life writing
The Kingdom doesn’t understand why humans do this.  They feel you should just live, that this kind of writing is egotistical.  Eileen has written her version of events and these have been carefully secreted in one of the most inaccessible areas of the Palace Library.  Eileen only wrote these down to prove she did have a reason for everything she did but it hasn’t helped her cause much.  After all there is no denying that she is awkward…

Education
Considered phenomenally important, all species go to school to learn the 3 Rs, magical history, how to write and read fairytales correctly, how to perform magic (how much depends on species, all groups have their own limitations and have inherited powers, which again vary) and the Kingdom’s constitution.  Nobody can leave education until they pass exams in this and get a decent grade.  Some species, notably the sprite, stay at school for years...

Good as concept
According to the Witch, good is defined as being what the Fairy Queen says it should be.  And that lady will not accept the possibility that the Witch had ever been hard done by.  Eileen does, which is why the Witch was reluctant to have to kill Eileen and tried to avoid the scenario where it would be necessary.  Naturally the Queen said “good is good” and all right minded people would agree.  Most would accept the monarch is generally right but if they’d known the full story behind the Witch’s attitude would also accept that the crone had a point which should have been dealt with honourably and wasn’t.

Imagery
The Queen’s official image is carefully controlled, something she shares in common with Queen Elizabeth Tudor.  Mind, some of the latter’s gowns, even the fairy monarch considers a tad OTT.  And the magical ruler would never tolerate a ruff getting in the way or making her neck feel itchy.  But portraits are carefully set up, as they were for Queen Elizabeth, and circulated widely.

Friendships
Almost everyone in the Kingdom sticks to within species for friendships and then refines that to within their own village and/or nearest neighbouring village.  Eileen is unusual in befriending all kinds of species though in fairness she makes enemies out of them too!  Had Eileen been blessed with a modicum of tact, she would have made an excellent ambassador.

Enemies
Much the same applies as above though Eileen is blessed with the gift of finding it phenomenally easy to make enemies.  Indeed she’s been known to consider this a sign she’s carrying out her fairy godmother role properly.  They’re bound to make enemies putting evil right. 

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Bereavement
The measure of how much someone cared.  The closer the connection, the tougher the bereavement.  On this there is a similarity with how most humans feel.  Eileen has pointed out many times in her old world that humans are at their best when they care.  And that most humans do.  This view is believed to be simplistic by most magical beings.

Love
The force that makes folk do things for others when it costs them to do so or where there is no obvious reward.  The force that keeps you going when everything is bleak.  Most magical beings are surprised humans can experience this too.

Pollution
Anything that damages the environment is a bad thing, no matter what planet the environment is on.  Naturally the Kingdom does not see its own magical wars where it damaged the land as pollution - that’s something humans do - but of course there are none so blind as those that won’t see.

Kinship
Something that is treated as very important by all species in the realm.  This is why the Queen felt so betrayed when Eileen defected.  Eileen didn’t just walk away from her calling as a fairy godmother.  She walked away from her only surviving family.  The fact this kind of thing would not go down well even on Earth doesn’t impress the monarch.  Even there she can’t give credit for mere humans having decent feelings.

Homes
One thing the Kingdom shares with humans, especially English ones, is the importance of cherishing the place where you live.  Everyone from the Queen and her Palace to the trolls and their caves cherishes where they call home.  Invading another home is considered and treated as a serious criminal offence.  It is also an act of gross stupidity.  Would you really want to invade a troll cave?

Gardening
The Queen would like to make this a compulsory hobby but Eileen pointed out firmly it then wouldn’t be a hobby.  And it would make people sick of gardening.  The Queen quickly abandoned the idea.  Eileen herself likes light gardening but is nowhere near as fanatical as the Queen or her beloved Derek.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Memory
Something that can be adjusted when the Queen requires it - and that’s her definition.  Even Eileen thinks this is cynicism that beggars belief.

Justice
The Queen believes this is what she wants it to be.  Eileen has tried to rein this tendency in and to show her cousin that acting justly leads to less riots, less appeals against sentencing and means they keep the moral high ground.  The Queen is not as impressed with this given villains are able to do what they like and she resents not being able to do so.

Shows
The Queen and Eileen adore attending as many of the village fetes and events as possible.  They’re packed in over the summer months.  While people are busy putting on displays, they’re not going to cause trouble for the fairy government.

Fine Art
Most species accept this category covers paintings, sculptures, music even though the likes of Wes and Stan want Play Pixie Monthly included given they say they are truly awestruck by the pictures in this magazine.  While that is in no doubt, theirs is likely to remain a minority view.  The sprite communities do have some appreciation for art (especially good pictures) but are generally considered oafish by everyone else since they have to be dragged into art galleries and so on, the only group that does this.

Culture
Each Kingdom species has its own culture, special stories and songs though almost everyone agrees the sprites’ version of culture is disgusting, being full of innuendo.  They themselves argue that is a cultural art form in itself as innuendo has to be subtle to be at its best.  Again they’re on their own with this one.

Writing
The Kingdom sees this as one of the finest of the fine arts.  Stories form a large part of the realm’s history.  The stories emanating from the magical realm make it to other universes via certain selected minds.  Minds open to the idea of the magical.  On Earth the obvious candidates here were Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm.  Every species has at least one volume of fairy tales in their own home.  All are encouraged to read.  Indeed the hour equating to 7 to 8 p.m here on Earth is meant to be reading time for all not in public office.  Those in public office are meant to have their reading time the moment they come off duty.  The Queen never comes off duty as such but she reads in bed.  All species are encouraged to read about other worlds (though Eileen’s texts on places she visited are only available to adults, willing to give their names and addresses, most don’t).  The Queen encourages a good reading of the official history books.  And when she encourages, she really encourages…!  Most know how to take a hint when they get one.

The Kingdom, and especially the Queen, sees things somewhat differently to Eileen...

Wishing
One of the most powerful forces in the Fairy Kingdom.  Children are taught to wish in the right way whilst young.  And nobody is allowed to wish for more wishes, incluidng the Queen. 

Weeding
Eileen sees her job as a fairy godmother as being the ultimate weeder - the weeder out of all things evil.

Archive Keeping
Considered by the Queen, Eileen, the Librarian and FNN as one of the most important skills.  It is illegal to interfere with any archive.  All archives need to be checked by experts in the fields the theme is on about before being issued for public use.  The Librarian has several minor fairies helping her with this task.  Part of the role involves keeping the sprites out as they would exploit information they’re not entitled to for their own private gain.

Duplicity
Something the Queen considers Eileen is full of while Eileen takes the opposite view!  This is not new.  Practically every monarch and heir here has been wary of the other and the heir especially has had to be careful when “playing” the Palace system.  Too much of it and a treason charge awaits.  Too little and you alienate those important members of the Household whose backing you need to be a successful monarch should the call come.

Books
The Kingdom cannot imagine any world without books.  Earth has produced some wonderful writers and it is one of our more redeeming features in their eyes.

Wisdom
Something nobody on any world can ever have too much of.

Evil - Evil is in the eye of the beholder in the fairy realm though in fairness most evil here is outright.  Most of the bad guys believe in being upfront about it.  They want to challenge the government.  Naturally the Witch and her allies see themselves as the good guys.  The fact the rest of the realm disagree they ignore.

Good
Good is in the eyes of the beholder too.  The fairy royals insist there is no arguing about it and in fairness they can prove their goodness.  Course the Witch thinks it all soppy sweet and condemns it regularly.  Eileen has mixed feelings.

Knights of the Round Table
The Queen considers this kind of story romantic, moving, entertaining but suitable for private reading purpoes only.  She likes her knights to be practical and incorruptible.  L’Evallier who tries to hold her to account sees himself as her Chief Knight. Evil - Evil is in the eye of the beholder in the fairy realm though in fairness most evil here is outright.  Most of the bad guys believe in being upfront about it.  They want to challenge the government.  Naturally the Witch and her allies see themselves as the good guys.  The fact the rest of the realm disagree they ignore.