LIFE IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM
FNN’s daily schedule is dominated by the nightly news bulletin though a typical day would look like this.
Morning Schedule
6.00 a.m. - Summary of last night’s news
6.15 a.m. - Fairy Tale of the Day, reenacted
7.30 a.m. - First bulletin of the day’s news
8.00 a.m. - Roherum’s Thought of the Day (it’s meant to be a serious analytical programme on the news, like our Newsnight).
9.00 a.m. - Schools programmes on magical beings in history, maths, science (here it’s practical magic use) and geography.
The schools programmes also cover which dangerous magical beasts live where, this is the nearest the realm gets to a government health warning!).
Middle of the day Schedule
12 noon - Lunchtime news bulletin - not led by Roherum.
Roherum says he’s gathering material for the main evening show. The weatherman says Roherum’s having a really good lunch…
1.00 p.m. - Live re-enactment of a classic fairy story.
These are put on for the benefit of the older magical beings who either don’t find it so easy to get to an actual show (held in the evenings usually) or can’t face being in a live show with youngsters making a lot of noise (this is considered a good thing by most of the Kingdom). The broadcast shows are remarkably popular.
3.00 p.m. - History Hour. Naturally the wars the Kingdom have fought are featured here, all told from the official viewpoint only.
Afternoon/Evening Schedule
4.00 p.m. - Plant With Sherrill Flowergreen, the Friendly Witch. Compulsory watching for everyone - the Queen sees to that.
Her Majesty wants all in her world to take better care of the “good” plants as well as being able to defend themselves against the “bad” ones.
6.00 p.m. - The main FNN bulletin, where Roherum lets rip.
A combination of a serious news programme, travel advice, commentaries on other worlds and the funny stuff.
8.00 p.m. - Evening film.
Again based on the classic tales, the films can vary from a deadly serious style to a spoof to a cartoon type entertainment.
Evening/Night Schedule
10.00 p.m. - Last bulletin of day - not hosted by Roherum, covers one or two more serious issues.
We’d consider it as a kind of Newsnight Lite… It may be serious by Roherum’s standards but that’s not saying much.
11.00 p.m. - Nightly five minute speech from the Queen. It is expected that everyone bar the very young, ill and old tune in.
Not everybody that should does and this Queen won’t persecute anyone for it but Gwendolyn, who brought in the fairyvision system, would’ve done so. Speech finishes with a trumpet fanfare. As Wes has often said to Stan, this is not the way to send people off for a good night’s sleep!
Overnight Schedule
11.05 p.m. until 5.59 a.m.
Very much the graveyard slot, it is felt something should be put on if only to give the insomniacs something else to moan about. There tends to be programmes from the regions put on here so if you’re keen to see what’s going on where you live, you’ve got to wait until most other beings have gone to bed to get to see it! It is felt regional programmes are not that interesting as a rule so should be shoved here where those that want them have them without inflicting them on others. Some of the shows are indeed dire but there are gems amongst them including the local history reports, which deserve a wider audience but are unlikely to get one. The Queen never tunes in, Eileen used to every so often. She liked the local history slots.
What FNN broadcasts is the subject of most conversations most day. Incidentally FNN does interrupt its usual schedule if the Queen, Eileen or Council feel the need to speak to the people or if there’s an attack on the Kingdom. Discussing just how much of an idiot Roherum has been this week is a fun thing all join in with. Nobody can imagine FNN without him - nor do they wish to. There are one or two comedy shows, which are performed live when the Kingdom fancies a break from re-enacting the fairy tales but this happens at Midsummer and Midwinter’s Days and the comedy is expected to be funny, clean and about the fairy tales normally put on. In recent years jokes about FNN and Roherum have become more prevalent. Satire as we know it is unknown and not really approved of but send-ups (especially Roherum and the weatherman) are gaining in popularity. It’s a matter of time before the comedy shows are broadcast (Roherum would oppose it but ratings for these live performances are rising). Sprites are the main comedy performers, this surprises nobody.
Morning Schedule
6.00 a.m. - Summary of last night’s news
6.15 a.m. - Fairy Tale of the Day, reenacted
7.30 a.m. - First bulletin of the day’s news
8.00 a.m. - Roherum’s Thought of the Day (it’s meant to be a serious analytical programme on the news, like our Newsnight).
9.00 a.m. - Schools programmes on magical beings in history, maths, science (here it’s practical magic use) and geography.
The schools programmes also cover which dangerous magical beasts live where, this is the nearest the realm gets to a government health warning!).
Middle of the day Schedule
12 noon - Lunchtime news bulletin - not led by Roherum.
Roherum says he’s gathering material for the main evening show. The weatherman says Roherum’s having a really good lunch…
1.00 p.m. - Live re-enactment of a classic fairy story.
These are put on for the benefit of the older magical beings who either don’t find it so easy to get to an actual show (held in the evenings usually) or can’t face being in a live show with youngsters making a lot of noise (this is considered a good thing by most of the Kingdom). The broadcast shows are remarkably popular.
3.00 p.m. - History Hour. Naturally the wars the Kingdom have fought are featured here, all told from the official viewpoint only.
Afternoon/Evening Schedule
4.00 p.m. - Plant With Sherrill Flowergreen, the Friendly Witch. Compulsory watching for everyone - the Queen sees to that.
Her Majesty wants all in her world to take better care of the “good” plants as well as being able to defend themselves against the “bad” ones.
6.00 p.m. - The main FNN bulletin, where Roherum lets rip.
A combination of a serious news programme, travel advice, commentaries on other worlds and the funny stuff.
8.00 p.m. - Evening film.
Again based on the classic tales, the films can vary from a deadly serious style to a spoof to a cartoon type entertainment.
Evening/Night Schedule
10.00 p.m. - Last bulletin of day - not hosted by Roherum, covers one or two more serious issues.
We’d consider it as a kind of Newsnight Lite… It may be serious by Roherum’s standards but that’s not saying much.
11.00 p.m. - Nightly five minute speech from the Queen. It is expected that everyone bar the very young, ill and old tune in.
Not everybody that should does and this Queen won’t persecute anyone for it but Gwendolyn, who brought in the fairyvision system, would’ve done so. Speech finishes with a trumpet fanfare. As Wes has often said to Stan, this is not the way to send people off for a good night’s sleep!
Overnight Schedule
11.05 p.m. until 5.59 a.m.
Very much the graveyard slot, it is felt something should be put on if only to give the insomniacs something else to moan about. There tends to be programmes from the regions put on here so if you’re keen to see what’s going on where you live, you’ve got to wait until most other beings have gone to bed to get to see it! It is felt regional programmes are not that interesting as a rule so should be shoved here where those that want them have them without inflicting them on others. Some of the shows are indeed dire but there are gems amongst them including the local history reports, which deserve a wider audience but are unlikely to get one. The Queen never tunes in, Eileen used to every so often. She liked the local history slots.
What FNN broadcasts is the subject of most conversations most day. Incidentally FNN does interrupt its usual schedule if the Queen, Eileen or Council feel the need to speak to the people or if there’s an attack on the Kingdom. Discussing just how much of an idiot Roherum has been this week is a fun thing all join in with. Nobody can imagine FNN without him - nor do they wish to. There are one or two comedy shows, which are performed live when the Kingdom fancies a break from re-enacting the fairy tales but this happens at Midsummer and Midwinter’s Days and the comedy is expected to be funny, clean and about the fairy tales normally put on. In recent years jokes about FNN and Roherum have become more prevalent. Satire as we know it is unknown and not really approved of but send-ups (especially Roherum and the weatherman) are gaining in popularity. It’s a matter of time before the comedy shows are broadcast (Roherum would oppose it but ratings for these live performances are rising). Sprites are the main comedy performers, this surprises nobody.