- Never forget your fire proof clothing before going out to tackle dragons. Get them before they get you! (Access to a fire extinguisher is always a good idea).
- Make sure you know what the rules are so you don’t unwittingly break them and fall foul of some curse dating back centuries, which will inevitably involve the imaginative removal of your entrails. (In the magical realm, you never get a caution or a fine. It's considered sissy.).
- Be wary of strangers coming into your village as they’re a secret king, a powerful witch or wizard in disguise or a lad who has the hounds of hell after him and you really don’t want to get in the way!
- When someone claims to have invented a new spell, make sure they test it, ideally on themselves. Never volunteer and always ignore those who claim volunteering is your civic duty. Let them do it!
- When the government announces every able bodied magical being is to practice their skills regularly and in front of them for “assessment”, be aware it must mean there’s a war in the offing. When our beloved (ha!) magical broadcasters, the Fairy News Network, are becoming more wary in what they report, it definitely means there’s a war in the offing. Or it could be a royal scandal. But if you were to gamble on it, go for the war option. It's more likely to win.
- When someone claims to have invented a new spell, make sure they test it, ideally on themselves. Never volunteer and ignore those who claim volunteering for this is your civic duty. Let them do it!
- Heroes and heroines come in all shapes and sizes so make it a rule never to despise anyone or to ill-treat them. If you’re the youngest of three siblings, be prepared for greatness! You will inevitably be the hero. If you’re a stepdaughter who views with concern her father’s remarriage (with good reason), hang on in there, your fairy godmother will be along any moment. There's always a queue for their services. They will get to you as soon as they can. Equally some friendly dwarves will help you out. They're just like that.
- Beware of innocent looking creatures you happen to find “lying around”. They’re almost certainly not what they seem and could be waiting for some innocent idiot to underestimate them so they can feed on the unsuspecting! Make sure that idiot is not you.
- Never have your wand or other magical equipment out of reach.
More Fairy Kingdom rules, which are ignored only by those with a death wish, the ignorant who are clearly unaware they have got a death wish, and those determined not to be pushed around by the rule makers. It's a funny thing but not one of them ever made it to a decent age...
I'm Allison Symes and write fairytales with bite, especially novels and short stories.