It is most gracious of the Queen to give us permission to interview you, Lord Chamberlain, and we quite understand that there are some questions you will not be able to answer due to the security issues surrounding your role. However, we would be glad if you could give us a rough idea of what your job entails. This FNN series is meant to educate the populace about the roles of those connected with our beloved Queen.
My role as Lord Chamberlain is to organize the Royal Household so that everybody from Her Majesty downwards has their meals and drinks at the correct times, supplies of food and drink and office supplies (for the Council and their meetings) are always maintained, to welcome appropriately vetted guests to the Palace and to ensure their comfort and to ensure that everybody is carrying out their allotted role correctly and if they need assistance they get it. And before you ask, Roherum, that does not include the Queen. Her Majesty does not need telling how to carry out her role!
What part of your role do you enjoy the most?
I like looking back at the end of the day and knowing that all has gone well. When the Queen holds banquets to honour those who serve the Kingdom well it is a privilege for me to meet those brave youngest sons, giant killers, those who defy witches and live to tell the tale and not only that but to serve these heroes and heroines with the finest cuisine our realm has to offer. The Queen has a vast wine cellar and it is enjoyable choosing the right drink to go with the meal and knowing from years and years of experience I have made the right choice as I know the Queen is always appreciative of that exquisite joy of a perfect banquet. I suppose you could say, if you were to use vulgar human terms, I am the ultimate facilitator in the Palace.
What is the part of your role you dislike most?
Dealing with those troublesome sprites, Whespy and Stanrock, as disciplinary issues should not really fall within my remit. There should be no disciplinary issues to deal with and if everybody acted courteously towards one another, there would be none. I note that rogue pair seem to have settled though. Her Majesty was right to send them to Earth. No doubt the shock of living on that primitive planet and Eileen’s presence helped knock some sense into them.
How much magic do you use in your role?
Magic is a great boon for keeping on top of the administration. Indeed a decent spell I swear is the only way of making sure the filing is done correctly. I sometimes ask Her Majesty to manipulate time when there is too much to do in too little a time. Her Majesty always agrees. It helps her too, you see. But knowing good food and wines comes down to decades of practical experience as does the general management of the Palace. In short, I have to know what I’m doing.
Who is your deputy?
Her Majesty insists on all of her staff, including me, having a decent holiday during the summer months at her seaside home, waited on by other staff. We host holidays at the Palace for them too. So for this a deputy is needed and I chose L’Evallier, who was happy to agree. Frankly that elf is the only being I’d trust with the running of the Palace in my absence. The other Council members would do their best but L’Evallier has a real sense of what is proper, which is more important than most people realise.