Rock Round the Lock – one for the canal users.
A Hard Day’s Nit – one for the nurses at school as they continue to wade their way through thousands of school children’s heads each year.
Last Rain to Clarksville – for when we get an automatic weather ordering service…
Lord of the Ankle Bracelet – lacks a certain something I think.
The Hob – one for cooking fans.
Catch 0 – Doesn’t sound as impressive as Joseph Heller’s original. How do you catch zero in any case? Equally could be Catch Nothing, which could be the BMA’s advice to the general public as it means waiting times at doctor’s surgeries would be vastly reduced.
Great Lack of Expectations – For the disinherited!
Mug Me, Kate – not quite what the musical people, or Shakespeare, had in mind. This is for those occasions when the couple concerned have fallen out in a big way.
The Phantom of the Afternoon Matinee – lacks something of the grandeur of the original.
When I’m Leaning Wind Ows – This could be most uncomfortable. And more than a little gusty.
The Li Ing – hardly the most truthful of musicals…
The Mouse Rap – this has a different sound from what Agatha Christie had in mind…
Pickwick Post It Notes – not so thorough as the papers (and definitely less classy)
Lease Mr Postman – Royal Mail workers for hire (will almost certainly charge more at Christmas).
Sin – a less wholesome virtue of the old Carpenters’ hit. You’re more likely to have to be encouraged to sing than sin… humans do the latter almost like an involuntary reflex action at times.
Tick to Rid – one for furry pet owners everywhere