Chops - Not so frightening as Jaws though meat is still involved!
The Man Who Was - Not so intriguing as the Goon Episode. The word “never” makes a huge difference.
The Pale Donkey - hasn’t the same ring as Agatha Christie’s pallad horse. Can there ever be anything frightening about a donkey?
A Midsummer Night’s Nightmare - not exactly a patch on Shakespeare.
The Light Breeze - there is something dramatic about the word “Tempest” isn’t there?
Richard the Unfairly Treated - even if Shakespeare had wanted to write this, he dare not. Who’s going to tell Elizabeth Tudor her granddad was a usurper?
Hell in a Handcart - would this count as a How-to-do manual, a bleak memoir or a statement as to how the publishing industry is going.
The Not So Secret Seven - don’t think this would have gone down well with Enid Blyton’s market.
Rubbish Island - Aside from naming those places that could qualify for this title, fun can be had imagining the disappointment (to put it mildly) of Robert Louis Stevenson’s pirates searching for their loot here!
The Scarlet Pumpernickle - Not sure the French revolutionary leaders would have feared this figure. Indeed they’d be looking for a decent recipe to put it in.
Alassin - Equal rights for the girls at last. Why should Aladdin have it all his own way?
The Blue Slippers - Would the wicked lady dance to her death in these?
Wolf Flat
A bit of a comedown, especially for the likes of Thomas Cromwell.
Sparkling Apple Juice - No match for Agatha Christie’s cyanide original. Mind I’d take the apple juice every time.
The Mystery of the Blue Train… Is Why It Always Runs Late - For some reason Agatha Christie dropped the rest of the title!
Sam The Not-At -All Sudden - The first draft P.G. Wodehouse turned down?
Money Under the Mattress - The first place it goes the moment there’s any kind of trouble with the banks.
The Dodgy Relatives of Time - I prefer Josephine Tey’s book. The Daughter of Time is one of those rare books that made me change my mind about something, in this case the innocence of Richard III.